I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
