Duck Duck Cougar?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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