bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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