At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
3pm strippers are depressing
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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