If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
