i don't like sucking hair
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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