porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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