There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
