Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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