How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
