please come you make the beer taste better
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
