I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
