I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
