i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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