Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
