I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
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