We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
