I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
