Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
