I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
