Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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