She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
