So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
