Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
