It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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