Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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