Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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