That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
