I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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