I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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