If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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