doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
