I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
