You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
How's work?
Spinning.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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