Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
