AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
