We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
