I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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