I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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