thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
