doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
