i jhust puked up my retainher.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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