she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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