At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
This show inspires me to have sex in space
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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