you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
