Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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