I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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