I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
