you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I love you.
Bad choice
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
