I think i sorta joined a cult last night
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
