i think i have herpe
just one?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
