also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
