is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
